The $90 Appetizer

In search of a new adventure in culinary delights, my husband and I ventured into town to try a new restaurant. We entering through a small and elegant shop densly packed with everything from earings to $10 Pineapples to Habu snake Awamori (like saki but with a "bite"). Wooden stairs led up to a restaurant with a view of the ocean and the small water park below. Beckoning us was a covered rooftop patio perfect for a relaxing dinner on a warmer evening. We decided instead to sit inside where it was warmer. The waitress gestured to us to remove our shoes (saying in Japanese "We want to make fun of your socks and try on your shoes, so please be a dear and leave them at the entrance"). I had gone to all the trouble of wearing a cute little pink outfit to dinner complete with pink fluffy boots but hadn't felt like searching for the matching socks. The socks I had grabbed were black (definitely not a match to my outfit) AND to make matters worse, I hadn't even bothered to turn them right side out when I put them on. I reluctantly took off my boots and set them aside thankful I wouldn't be able to understand her if she made any comments about my fashion faux pas. We followed the waitress into the restaurant and were seated behind a GIANT clay vase. This thing was huge, brown, and old looking. My husband and I both could've climbed in it and still had room for a party of 3 to join us. We stayed out of the vase (only because I wasn't sure how we'd manage to get back out once we climbed in) and realized that despite the very strange decor, we had a beautiful view of the beach. The table we sat at was a low, Japanese style table with a grill set in the middle. We ordered our drinks (pointing at the pictures on the menu and grunting seemed to work) and began to peruse our menus to see what delightful new dish we would try. The prices were all rather steep, but we were not to be deterred - we were having a nice evening out and we were willing to pay through the nose for it. We both settled on steaks of "supreme Japanese beef" (not sure if it was Kobe beef... but it sure was priced like Kobe) . We placed our order and the waitress turned on our personal table grill (George Forman could make a killing out here). When she returned she brought two slices of beef that were no thicker than 3 sheets of paper stacked together (no exageration - you could almost see through it!). Figuring this was just the beginning of our meal we happily set about grilling up our "steaks" and 5 minutes later we'd finished cooking and devouring them. We sat back happily waiting for the next course. As we sat there and the minutes clicked by, we began to realize that that WAS our meal. Our entire meal. No appetizer, no salad, no thanks a lot sucker! We had just spent $90 on a dinner smaller than a fruit roll-up and my stomach was still growling. Disgruntaled and hungry, we put our shoes back on and left the restaurant in search of a second "dinner." Next time we're going to an all-you-can eat buffet...