WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE FOR A PET?

CREEPY LITTLE MONKEY: $4000

OR

BIG NASTY BEETLE: $800

HOW MUCH IS THAT MONKEY IN THE WINDOW?

Last weekend I decided to go on a monkey-quest. I'd heard that they sell monkeys at pet stores here on the island and I'm one of those gotta see it to believe it kinda people. As it turned out, I was in luck, the very first pet store I stopped at had a little bitty strangely creepy monkey. It was about the size of a squirrel and had the strangest little tiny face. It was also $4000! I guess today wasn't going to be adopt-a-monkey day... Besides the fact that the thing would give me nightmares - he reminded me of Chucky the doll for some reason, I just know if I brought him home he'd stab me with a kitchen knife in the middle of the night. OK, it probably wasn't a homicidal maniac monkey but for some reason it gave me the willies. I swear he really wasn't a normal looking monkey (alright here's where everyone can just sort of stop, realize I must be a bit of a nutjob for harboring such feelings about a poor defenseless monkey, and move on). I really like the idea of owning a monkey, but I think the reality of it would drive be absolutely bonkers. I can just see him opening all the cupboards and throwing our expensive crystal glasses onto the floor, riding poor Sedona around like a pony (though I would sort of like to see that...), and re-programming my computer (I'm sure monkeys know more about computer programming than I do). No, it would definitely be a disaster. Another crazy pet that the Japanese seem to love is big black beetles. Yep, those nasty things that you exterminate in your house are an Asian addiction! The biggest beetle was about as big as a mouse and had some seriously scary looking pincers in front of its face. The price tag for this nasty looking bug? $800! Dear God! I can't imagine paying anything for a bug unless it involved its extermination!!! I've seen a lot of kids' toys shaped like beetles and wondered why anyone would want to float on a raft that looks like a bug or cuddle up at night with a plush bigger than life beetle. I still haven't figured out the why, but at least I know they are serious about their love of insects. Maybe it's because their houses are so small that cats would take up too much room and beetles just sort of fit perfectly. Sorry, but if that was my only choice I'd choose not to own a pet! Dog food that we buy here on base (and back in the states) for $28 was $89 for the exact same bag at this store. Rabbits were $250, Guinea pigs were $150, but Gerbils were a mere $5. I guess they feed them to their $800 bugs...